hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You've changed since you got that strap on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
