You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
