there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
