i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
