O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
