I think i sorta joined a cult last night
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
