I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
