Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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