I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
