I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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