Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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