he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
