so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
