before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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