Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
