What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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