I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
