using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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