Are we in a gay sports bar?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize