Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
