Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
