ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
