There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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