That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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