I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
