my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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