i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
