oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
