As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
