The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
