I think my vagina is haunted
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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