Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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