I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
