Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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