Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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