well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
