oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
