i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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