the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
