Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
