Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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