She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
