i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
