i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
