I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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