The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
