I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
