What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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