Whod you bang
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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