Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
