So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
