Screwed.edu
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
operation have a gay friend backfired
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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