She's JV to your varsity
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
