I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
