I just pynch a tree in the face
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
