I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
