He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
