but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
