Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize