She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
