you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
