You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
