Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
